Being judged by my Peers

This week was really interesting. Our assignment was to first observe ourselves as communicators and then have family/coworker do the same. When I evaluated myself I tried to be as honest as possible and I think perhaps I was being a little too critical. People did not see me as abrasive but someone who did not warm up to big crowds. I decided instead of giving it to just two people I gave it to as many coworkers as possible. Not everyone turned it in but I think that in every job situation (if someone is brave enough) they should be evaluated by their peers. These are some of the things that surprised me that there was disagreement on whether I was open with people and the use of my time during the day. I was shocked by this because I didn't think that people would be able to pick up on this. This just goes to show you that, they are swifter then I give them credit for. I was also shocked that people noticed that I do get impatient when things do not move as quickly as I want them to. I am not sure if this is a positive or a negative attribute.
Insights that I learned about communication is that I need to slow down and not be presumptuous when listening to all sides of the story. I have learned this week that I do not take enough into account the person's background, culture or the way they communicate. This is something that I need to work on in the near future. I also learned that I need to be more comfortable when expressing my opinions. My uneasiness does come off as aggressiveness and this again is something that needs to needs to be changed. I really did enjoy this assignment.

How to Communicate

Three strategies that I could use to communicate more effectively are first know that there are perceptual barriers. “ Successful intercultural communication requires mindfulness, being respectful of others, and maintaining an accurate perception of the situation.” (O'Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. 2012) When I take this information that is in the text and apply it to communicating in an everyday situation there will be times that I do not agree and I will have to hold my tongue, respecting the culture of another person.

“ Stereotyping is the act of fitting individuals into an existing schema without adjusting the schema appropriately; it involves organizing information about groups of people into catergories so that you can generalize about their attitudes, behavior, skills, morals, and habits.” (O'Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. 2012) I think that when we communicate with people we first must realize that everyone stereotypes, this is a natural instinct. As it says in the text some stereotypes are positive as well as negative. Our jobs as Educators is to look at families and coworkers as individuals and try to look beyond this. Because this will lead eventually to prejudice. When we are thinking about or examining preconceived situations in our everyday life that have already happened or assume are going to cause a situation, it is really easy to make snap judgments. In order to become an effective communicator we must come to the conclustion of a problem without gathering the information first to solve it or at least listen to all sides of the story.

I The biggest problem I have personally with communicating is that if someone I am trying to speak to doesn't speak the language, I will talk slower and pick up the accent. If I make the assumption if someone doesn't have enough intelligence to follow simple directions (this would be anyone) it is really hard for me to hear their side of the story when something goes wrong. These are things I need to work on myself.

References

O'Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2012) Real Communication; An Introduction Bedford/St. Martins; Boston*NewYork

• What do you think the characters' relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating? The episode that I chose was “Puddy is A Christian”. When they are sitting around the table at the diner, George is reading the menu not really interested in what Elaine is saying while Jerry is talking to her by making eye contact. Now we fast forward while they are in the house and both George, Jerry are now looking intently at the Jesus Fish Elaine took off Puddy's car. George goes to watch tv, again not making eye contact with her but instead watching television this time. Puddy is now in the house with Elaine looking down and walking away but still speaking to her. Jerry is making eye contact again in the last scene and George is reading the newspaper at the diner not making eye contact.
  Based on the way the characters are communicating with the sound off I would say
  that George really doesn't have much interest in what Elaine is trying to say while Jerry throughout the episode is making contact. Elaine seems to sit by Jerry and across from George when talking. This tells me that they have an established relationship.
• What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?
  Jerry is inquiring whatever Elaine is speaking about. Elaine is expressing fustration over a dilemma and it seems George does not care.

Now, watch the show with the sound turned on.

• What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?
  I assumed George was not listening but with the sound on he was irritated that more people did not appreciate Christian rock. I assumed he wasn't listening. In the kitchen George asked if she changed the radio station and didn't care Elaine stole Puddy's Jesus Fish. Puddy told Elaine very calmly she was going to Hell when I assumed he was passively again not paying attention to what she she said.
• Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?
  I believe that they would because the body movements of the characters did not always match the dramatic things that they were saying. Which does make it funny when you are watching it with the sound on.

Waiting My Turn

The person that I think has competent communication skills is someone that I know that has a radio show. The reason that this person has incredible communication skills is that even if the radio host disagrees with what the person says, they always give the person the chance the speak. The incredible thing about this is, even if the person's point is not valid the audience is allowed to dictate this and it is not the host that narrates the storyline. I believe that when we communicate with another person we need to listen more instead of trying to defend our point. I had an English professor tell me once years ago, that everything that goes into my head does not need to be released from my mouth. I would like to monitor some of my communication skills after someone who's job is to listen as well as speak. I also believe we are sometimes quick to defend what we have to say instead of being open enough to see a different point of view.